I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
