i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
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