the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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