Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
