Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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