I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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