I'm gonna have a badass scar
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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