Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
The adults are the big ones right?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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