I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
