Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
