I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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