i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
