I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
