So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
