Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
