Me too!
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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