i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
organizing the empties. That sober.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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