At least make sure they are 18
Why
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
