imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
