Don't you send me to vm
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
