I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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