we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
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A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
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I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
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