Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he was CRYING into my vagina
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Randomize
