it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
