Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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