Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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