Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry my hands just texted you
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
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