i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
