Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
