Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
