It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
