Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
two words...techno handjob
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
