so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
and you fell through a lawn chair
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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