I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
