Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I checked into jail on foursquare
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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