There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
