i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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