The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
