Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
