she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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