her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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