The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize