I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
