I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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