you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
