It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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