I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
