Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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