the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
