how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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