i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I love you. Go after that dick
A bitchslap is in order.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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