oh god the rape fog is back!
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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