I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
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I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
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I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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