Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
mondays should just be called national damage control day
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
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