Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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