spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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