found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
