Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
this is an emotional support booty call
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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