Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
