I think i peed on brittanys purse
he shaved USA in his pubs
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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