Im at strip club and am horny
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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