Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I don't deserve a penis
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
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