thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
