I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
there's paper in my vomit.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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