Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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