Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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