either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
